


Here and Now

by natsume_kun



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bartender Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Blood, Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff, In a Car, Late Night Conversations, Late Night Drives, Levi-centric (Shingeki no Kyojin), Light Angst, M/M, Makeouts, Metaphors, Professor Erwin Smith, References to Depression, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:35:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28481766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natsume_kun/pseuds/natsume_kun
Summary: Levi doesn’t want to go home yet and neither does Erwin, so they go on late night detour drives instead.--or: gay depressed men being vulnerable and finding solace in each otheror (2): the eruri late night drives au x nietzsche's philosophy except i make it cheesier than it already is
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 14
Kudos: 86





	Here and Now

Levi doesn’t want to go home and neither does Erwin. 

It’s about thirty minutes past closing time and Levi has already cleaned up the entire bar, with the exception of the half-empty glass Erwin's been drinking from. He’s closed up the shop even with one last customer still sitting at the corner of the bar across from him. 

Levi idly wipes a shot glass from behind the counter, occasionally stealing (hopefully) subtle glances at Erwin now raising the drink to his lips. 

“We should go home soon,” Levi says impassively.

It’s fairly quiet aside from the clinking of glass and the electrical buzzing from the dim red lights hanging above them.

“Right,” Erwin sighs dejectedly. He fumbles for something in his pockets-- he takes out his car keys and sets them down on the counter. 

“You, uh--” Erwin starts, nervously fumbling through his hair. Erwin’s usually hard to read, but Levi is almost certain the other seems a little on edge this time. _Odd._ Erwin looks up at him timidly behind the mess of hair falling in front of his face. “Can I take you home?”

"What?"

Levi briefly loosens his grip on the shot glass, but thankfully catches it on time and proceeds to set it down on the wooden shelf. Erwin's question catches Levi off guard, but he takes the offer as a pleasant surprise nonetheless. Levi almost smirks. Almost.

“Wait, sorry. Let me rephrase that.” Erwin chuckles tiredly as he fumbles with the key in his hands. “Can I drive you home?” 

Levi raises an eyebrow questioningly.

“Sorry, it’s just-- I realize you’ve been staying here later the past few weeks because of me. So I was thinking maybe I could do you a favor? Or if driving you home seems too intrusive, you could just put an extra on my tab? After all, with the way I’m always staying past closing time, I might be spiking up the electricity bill too.”

Levi shakes his head. “Not really. Or not significantly, at least. It’s fine. Guy who owns this place couldn’t give two shits, anyway.”

“Guy who owns the place? I’m surprised it’s not actually you.”

“Kenny owns this shithole. You ever see a cowboy who looks straight out of a mafia movie around here, that’s probably him.”

“What if he’s _actually_ part of the mafia?” Erwin chuckles slightly as he downs the last of his drink.

Levi shrugs. “No fucking clue. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he is.” 

Levi’s attention is drawn to the now empty glass still in Erwin’s grasp. Levi takes the glass and notes the brush of the other’s skin against his-- the rough callouses, the thick veins mapping the back of his hand, the feverish warmth of the alcohol running through his fingers. _Strong and rugged_ , Levi notes. Levi feels the other’s curious gaze on him when he lightly scratches a fingernail on Erwin’s hand. He briefly meets the other’s gaze before finally seizing the glass from Erwin.

“‘I see… So, uh, about the drive home…” Erwin clears his throat and starts to fumble with his hair nervously again.

Levi turns away, wordlessly headed towards the sink behind the counter.

Levi trails a finger at the rim of the glass, then briefly examines the dampness collected on his skin. Setting the glass down on the sink with his other hand, he trails the damp tip of his finger against his bottom lip. And when he purses his lips, he tastes the residue of intoxication on his tongue. _Strong. Rugged._

Levi lets out a breath as he finally turns the faucet on to wash the glass.

“I don’t really live that far,” Levi finally says over the sound of splashing water.

“Oh…”

“But I don’t really feel like going home.” Levi turns the faucet off and reaches for the cloth to wipe the glass dry. “Do you?” He looks up from the glass to face Erwin again, an eyebrow raised in question.

Erwin smiles and shakes his head. “There’s… really not much for me in there. And it’s cold. Not much of a home, really.”

“So it’s two in the fucking morning and none of us still want to go home. Great,” Levi scoffs. “...You know, this is probably the latest I’ve stayed in here.”

Erwin sighs. “Sorry, I--”

“Know what? Let’s just get this shit over with.” Levi clicks his tongue sharply. “Just drive me home anyway.”

Erwin looks down at his car keys, dangling the ring of the keychain on one finger. 

Just then, the corners of his lips slowly turn up into a smile. He stops fumbling with the car keys.

“Say, you want to take a detour?”

\--

“Well, that’s one way to come out,” Levi says, placing the book on the dashboard before settling himself down on the passenger seat.

“Excuse me?” Erwin says, confused as he turns the key behind the steering wheel. The dashboard lights up with neon blue figures as the engine revs to life over the faint crackle of radio tuning.

Levi picks up the book, hovering it in front of the dashboard lights for a few seconds so Erwin could see what he was talking about. “Found this on the passenger seat.”

Erwin takes a quick glance at it as he starts to drive out of the parking spot. It’s his copy of The Gay Science by Friedrich Nietzsche. He must have left it here after one of his 8-9 PM class lectures.

“Oh… Levi, no--” Erwin starts in between a chuckle. “I mean-- that’s a philosophy book.”

“So…” Levi furrows his brows in confusion. “...it’s actually a gay philosophy? And not science?”

Erwin blurts out another laugh. “Wait, no-- see, I work at South Wall Rose University as a lecturer teaching philosophy. That book was written by Nietzsche-- he’s a German philosopher. So that’s why I have that. It doesn’t really have anything to do about being gay-- as in the sexual orientation. I suppose it’s more about--” Erwin glances up to check the rearview mirror-- and then the ones at the sides of the car as they finally move steadily on the road. “--learning to embrace life as it comes… by giving utmost meaning to everything you do... so that every choice is devoid of regret. Something like that.”

 _Fucking nerd._ Levi’s lips turn up into a smug smile.

“So this Nietzsche guy… he’s straight and actually enjoys life?” The question earns another laugh from Erwin. “Well, that’s two things I’m not so I’ll probably hate reading this. It sounds cheesy as fuck too,” Levi continues.

“To be fair, I kind of liked reading Nietzsche. So... it’s not impossible for you.” Erwin shrugs. “Maybe.”

Levi squints at the implication of that. _So does that mean--?_

“Wait, so are you--” He cuts himself off. “Nevermind.”

“Am I straight and am I enjoying life?” Erwin laughs. “No and no and I swing both ways.”

Levi steals a glance at him from the rearview mirror, but quickly turns away upon noticing Erwin about to meet his eyes.

“Good,” Levi says.

“You mean it’s good that I’m not enjoying life?”

“No, I mean-- it’s just reassuring that we’re on the same boat, fucking smartass.”

“Ah, right, that’s what you meant.” Erwin laughs.

Levi rolls his eyes in response.

The car soon eases into a stop as they encounter a red light. 

As Levi silently flips through the book, a small piece of paper falls out in between the pages. In the dim glow of the dashboard and city lights seeping through the car windows, Levi makes out two figures on the paper-- it’s a photograph of… a couple? The tall man beaming in the picture-- whom he recognizes as Erwin-- has his arms lovingly wrapped around a woman-- who, oddly, doesn’t quite share the same bright smile as him. That’s what it looks like to Levi, at least. But then again, he could just be reading too much into it-- it’s not like he could see the photo clearly in this lighting anyway.

Erwin notices what Levi was holding and immediately recognizes the photograph.

“Oh-- Levi, that’s--” he says, alarmed.

Levi quickly shoves the photograph back in between the pages and closes the book. He probably saw something he shouldn’t have.

“It’s just a bookmark, right? Don’t worry about it. You don’t owe me an explanation.”

The light finally turns green, so they move past it in silence.

At some point, Erwin slightly turns up the volume on the radio to fill the uneasy silence in the car.

“That…” Erwin starts. “That was a photo of me and my ex. We were engaged before, but… she broke it off with me last year. Turns out she was still hung up on this guy she dated before…” Erwin briefly turns to his companion, and finds Levi staring out the window silently. No hint of a response, but he seems to be listening. Erwin turns his attention back to the road. “Best part was that guy used to be a close friend of mine too. Everything’s fine now, anyway. No hard feelings on my end towards the both of them. Although, I admit…” He lets out a humorless laugh. “I do miss having someone else around at home. The house was… warmer, I suppose-- back when I had company.”

Levi scoffs. “So is that why you don’t want to go home? Why you’ve been making me stay past closing time?”

“Yeah,” Erwin laughs. “That’s not the only reason, though.” 

Erwin catches the other’s gaze in the rearview mirror. Levi doesn’t look away this time.

***

“Isabel… Furlan…” he says, shuddering at the sight of two lifeless bodies on the concrete. 

Levi falls, but doesn’t feel the impact of his knees hitting the ground. He feels nauseous as he watches the pool of blood gradually spread on the concrete. 

_This can’t be happening. This is a mistake._

He closes his eyes in a futile attempt to deny reality in front of him-- wishing so desperately for all this to be meaningless-- for everything to just be a bad dream. And yet, the tears dripping down his face betray him. As he starts to gasp for breath, Levi wipes his tears with hands quivering in terror.

When he opens his eyes, he gasps in horror at the sight of blood staining his hands.

\-- 

Levi wakes up to the steady whir of the car engine and soft, airy music playing on the radio. A flurry of lights rushes past outside the window, along with tall billboards and buildings gleaming with life.

_Huh. It was just a nightmare._

Levi looks to the side and finds Erwin silently fixated on the road before them.

_Right, this guy’s driving me home. I must have fallen asleep._

Soon, Levi shifts his attention to the road again. A few lanes away, he notices a rusted freight truck driving alongside them-- distinctly monstrous in size yet seemingly on the brink of being run-down. Something about it draws him in.

For a moment, he considers how massive of an impact it would make upon falling, or maybe upon a collision. He wonders if there was anything in there that could cause an explosion.

An explosion of glass, metal, and lifeless bodies spilling blood on the road. Everything could end here and now.

He shuts his eyes, and tries to imagine it, to revel in it-- the tires screeching against the concrete, the truck skidding violently along the road as it looms dangerously close towards them, the friction of metal against metal piercing through the air until-- 

“Are you okay, Levi?”

Levi opens his eyes, suddenly gasping for breath. 

He feels warmth on one hand, slowly grounding him. Erwin is holding his hand. 

The car isn’t moving anymore and Levi realizes Erwin had probably pulled over to the side of the road.

“Sorry, you wouldn’t respond and your hand was trembling so I…” Erwin lets go.

“Was that... a nightmare?” Erwin asks cautiously.

Levi couldn’t find his voice, so he simply nods in response. 

He feels like he’s about to burst into tears and he hates it. _Not now, dammit._ He’s not allowed to cry when he’s not alone.

Erwin timidly places his hand in between their seats-- a subtle offer of comfort-- easy enough for Levi to overlook on purpose.

He doesn’t need this. After all, he doesn’t plan on crying anyway. _Not here, not now._

Right?

Levi hesitates.

And then he betrays himself, taking Erwin’s hand.

***

“I haven’t been to a place like this in so long,” Levi says, wistfully looking up at the tall moonlit buildings across from them as he leans on the side of the car.

“A university?” Erwin asks as he settles himself beside Levi.

Levi nods. “I never finished college. Had to drop out too soon.”

“Why’s that?” 

“It was a pain in the ass working and studying at the same time. I was taking care of my younger cousins at the time too-- Isabel and Furlan.”

“Do they still live with you?”

Levi shakes his head. “They’re gone.”

“Gone?”

Levi closes his eyes for a second, then heaves a weary sigh-- bracing himself to face a reality he’s denied for so long.

 _God, am I really going to tell this guy my fucking sob story?_ He briefly pinches the bridge of his nose as he contemplates it. There’s something about verbalizing your most deep-seated thoughts, feelings, fears, and memories out loud that he really despises-- it’s that they suddenly feel more real from having been given a more concrete form-- that of spoken word. And it feels even more uncomfortable having someone else listen to them.

He hates being vulnerable.

He’s already cried in front of Erwin a few weeks ago and that was embarrassing enough.

“It’s been years and I still think it’s my fault,” Levi starts. He’s betraying himself again, but it isn’t unpleasant-- just like that night when he took Erwin’s hand. “My job was… dangerous, to say the least. I used to be a con artist.” Levi looks down at his feet, idly brushing the sole of his shoe on the ground-- as if to sweep dirt that was hardly even there. “And in that line of work, if you’re not one step ahead of your target, you’re as good as fucked. Isabel and Furlan knew that so they always insisted on helping me no matter how many times I told them it was dangerous. So… this one time, we were trying to scam this smelly rich asshole who turned out to be some big politician. Fucking pigs-- they’ve got eyes and guns almost everywhere.” Levi visibly clenches and unclenches his fist a few times. “When I came home a few days after I thought we pulled it off, the house was empty. They were gone. Shot dead."

Levi trails off as a cold wind whistles hauntingly into the night. He shudders.

"Oh… I'm sorry to hear about that, Levi," Erwin says, turning his head to look at Levi.

"It's all my fault."

Erwin furrows his brows in doubt.

"It's not."

"Oh yeah? But if I'd never let them help me that time, then they'd still be here," Levi says bitterly.

"None of you knew what would happen. You're not responsible for their deaths. Their blood isn't on your hands, Levi," Erwin reasons.

Levi sighs. "You're right. But sometimes," Levi examines his hands in front of him. "I can't help but feel like I am…" 

He scoffs, now looking back at Erwin. "You know, you make a lot of sense and I fucking hate that."

Erwin smiles.

\--

"...Warmer, you said," Levi says.

"Hm?"

"You said your place felt warmer back when you had company. I think… it's the same for me."

"Back when you could go back home to Isabel and Furlan?"

"Yeah. Now, it feels like I don't really have somewhere to go back to."

"Then… maybe we could find one again."

"Yeah, I… I think I'd like that," Levi mutters softly as he leans his head against Erwin's arm, barely even reaching the other's shoulder. "I'd really like that."

***

“So… philosophy, right?” Levi suddenly brings up as he watches the streets flicker with light and life beyond the car window.

“Yes, Levi.” Erwin chuckles at the awkwardly sudden mention of the topic. “Philosophy.”

“Why? Why are you teaching philosophy?” Levi asks as if Erwin had just done something absolutely preposterous.

“Why do you say that like it’s so unbelievable?”

“Because it is. I mean…” Levi clicks his tongue. “...you know, you’re pretty hot for someone who teaches philosophy.” He frowns.

“Excuse me? What?” Erwin laughs, squinting slightly as he notices from his periphery that Levi had turned to hide his face away from him.

“You heard me.” Levi crosses his arms.

“How many other people who teach philosophy have you even met?”

“None. You’re the only one.”

“What? Then how do you know I’m ‘hot for someone who teaches philosophy?’” Erwin chuckles.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Levi says with a scowl, irked at having to reason out his statement. “Philosophy sounds like something only boring old bearded men would be into. Bet that Nietzsche guy was like that.”

“Who knows? Maybe in a few years, I’ll actually become a boring old bearded man.”

“God, I hope not.”

Erwin laughs.

“Anyway, so… you wanted to know why philosophy, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well… my father was what you would’ve called a boring old bearded man.” Erwin chuckles. “He had a lot of philosophy books lying around at our old house and I ended up reading a lot of them." Erwin smiles warmly upon recalling the memory. "He was a lawyer, though. And at some point, I realized I wanted to become one too so I chose philosophy as my pre-law undergrad degree. I tried to go into law school after that, but… it didn’t really work out so… that’s why I decided to teach instead.”

“Why didn’t it work out?”

“I…” Erwin hesitates. “...I was diagnosed with clinical depression around that time I was in law school. Thought I could continue studying anyway after taking a leave of absence, but… when I got back, turns out everything was still too much for me to handle.”

“I… see,” Levi says hesitantly. “And... your father? Where’s he now?”

“He’s, uh… he passed away when I was still in high school.” 

The car soon slows down as Erwin wordlessly pulls over in front of a housing block. The whir of the car engine dies down as he turns the key once, leaving only the faint sound of music from the radio.

“Well…” Erwin continues, slightly turning up the volume on the dashboard. “...killed, really.” Erwin briefly kneads his temples as he sinks slightly in his seat. “He had intel on a case of electoral fraud in national government and I… I was curious so I tried to look into it too… I asked around about it. And then… you can probably conclude what happened after. I mean, you know how those big shots are--” Erwin laughs without humor. “--they’ve got eyes and guns everywhere. I know it’s not my fault, but I used to blame myself a lot for what happened.”

“Used to?” Levi asks, picking up on the other’s uncertainty. He looks down to examine the palms of his own hands. _Their blood isn’t on your hands, Levi._

“Yeah, I don’t anymore. Well, I’d like to think I at least got a little better after years of therapy.”

“That’s good,” Levi says simply.

“Sorry.” Erwin wearily wipes a palm down across his face as he laughs softly. “You just asked me why I decided to pursue philosophy and I ended up telling you why I got depressed.”

“It’s fine.”

A beat.

“At the very least, I still think you’re hot,” Levi suddenly remarks.

“What?” Erwin blurts out a hearty laugh. “Levi, I--”

“I’m kidding.” (He’s not.) “I just said that to lighten things up,” Levi adds nonchalantly.

“I… I appreciate that. And thank you, Levi. For listening.”

Levi looks up towards the moonlit facade of the familiar housing block outside as he begins to unfasten his seatbelt.

“So… we’re here,” Erwin says, lightly tapping on a switch near the car door a few times.

It draws Levi’s attention to the other’s fingers.

“Yeah.” 

Levi takes notice when Erwin needlessly unfastens his own seatbelt.

“You can leave,” Erwin says.

And yet, the doors remain locked-- Levi notes.

He understands.

“Do you…” Levi runs a hand through his hair, craning his neck as he steals a brief glimpse at Erwin on the rearview mirror. “... Do you want me to?” Erwin meets his eyes for a second, but his gaze soon falls on Levi’s neck.

Erwin’s hand weakly falls from the switch on the car door.

“No…” Erwin says timidly. “...I don’t want you to leave.”

“Then…” Levi shifts in place, kneeling against the cushion of his seat on one leg. He reaches towards Erwin’s neck, curling his fingers around the other’s nape as he slowly pushes Erwin closer towards himself. Levi tilts his head slightly as he looks the other in the eye. Erwin finds something new yet familiar in the way Levi looks at him-- a plead and a promise, vulnerable. “... I won’t.” 

Levi gingerly nuzzles against his cheek, soon trailing down to bury his face against Erwin’s neck. As he searches for Erwin’s hand in the dark, he trails his fingers down from Erwin’s shoulder towards the skin on the other’s arm. He briefly intertwines their fingers before eventually seizing Erwin’s hand to wrap it around his own waist. Levi slowly runs his tongue on the other’s neck, trailing slick dampness down to their left collarbone. The gesture causes Erwin to crane his neck in pleasure as his breath hitches-- body desperate for air and something else entirely-- heat, skin and wetness ravishingly foreign to his own.

Erwin slips a hand into the other’s shirt as he soon feels Levi nipping hungrily at the skin on his neck. “Levi,” he moans breathlessly at the sensation of hot, damp breath against his skin. As Erwin slowly trails a hand up on the other’s torso, Levi briefly stops nipping at his neck. Levi smirks unto him instead and lets out a soft mischievous chuckle as he recognizes Erwin’s touch. _Strong. Rugged._ Intoxication-- exactly how he likes it.

He revels in the feeling of Erwin’s rough, warm hand palming his torso-- slowly climbing up higher to settle on his chest. Erwin grazes a calloused fingertip against his nipple, making Levi chuckle briefly. His hitched laughter is eventually cut off by a painfully depraved moan as he leans his head back in arousal when he feels Erwin knead his nipple in between calloused fingers. Erwin watches Levi through the dimly lit rearview mirror-- his features quirking and twitching with lust-- eyes flitting in between half-lidded and shut, mouth widening and gasping in desperation, lips upturning in pleasure, and teeth gnashing in pain. At some point, their eyes meet in the reflection and Levi flashes him a roguish smile.

Erwin pulls at their dark hair with his other hand, turning Levi's head to face his own. Levi watches him with half-lidded, lustful eyes through the mess of hair falling in front of his face. Erwin feels the other’s nails dig into his nape, scratching at his skin-- soon trailing up to his undercut-- as he, in turn, watches the corners of Levi’s lips turn up into an impish grin. Erwin pulls at his hair, drawing their faces closer until their noses touch. Levi runs his tongue across Erwin’s bottom lip and then bites hungrily into it, urging the other into a deeper, wetter kiss. Erwin lets the other’s tongue explore his mouth, reveling in the warm wetness that intertwines when their tongues do. 

Levi soon pulls away to crawl into the driver's seat, a knee prodding in between Erwin’s thighs-- eliciting from him a needy groan-- as Levi settles himself on Erwin's lap.

Levi's hand soon palms over Erwin's chest, slowly climbing up to tug at his collar as the other hand grasps onto Erwin’s shoulder. Erwin nuzzles into their neck-- feverish breath tickling Levi's skin-- while running a hand through the other's dark hair. Levi’s hand trails down towards Erwin’s neck, then traces lightly on their collarbone before eventually grasping forcefully at the other’s shirt. As Erwin begins to suck needily at Levi’s neck, Levi manages to unclasp a few buttons away from the other’s collar. He grasps at Erwin’s shoulder again with one hand, while palming and lightly clawing at Erwin’s bare chest with the other. Levi then lowers his head to burrow his face into Erwin’s newly-exposed skin. Levi teases him, trailing his tongue on the skin around Erwin’s nipple. Erwin swears under his breath at the teasing, and Levi finally laps his tongue-- wet and feverish-- at Erwin’s nipple quickly stiffening from the contact. Saliva trails down obscenely from Erwin’s chest, eventually mixing with beads of sweat from the contact of heated skin.

Soon, the sound of hitched breaths grow quieter inside the car. 

A euphoric comedown.

Levi’s arm falls limply in between them. He leans his head on Erwin's chest, close enough to hear the pounding of the other's heart. Meanwhile, Erwin leans his head back on the seat-- hair disheveled, eyes closed as he gently entangles his fingers in between the strands of Levi's hair while softly humming along to the muffled music on the car radio. Levi silently traces lines on Erwin's chest, finding comfort in his lover's steady heartbeat.

Here and now, Levi finds intimacy unlike he's ever known before. And yet, it already feels familiar. 

Maybe this is what it's like to be reunited with a lover from a past life. Maybe this is what it's like to find a new home.

Levi suddenly finds himself crying, tears soon trailing down onto the other's chest. When Erwin notices, he slowly reaches a hand towards Levi's jaw, urging them to face him. He glances down at Levi's lips for a second, and then Levi nods-- tears still rolling down his cheeks. Erwin then gently pulls Levi's face closer into a kiss.

Here and now, in the spaces between their lips pressed together, in the spaces between their bodies intertwined, Levi finds intimacy unlike he's ever known before. 

And yet, it already feels familiar.

***

“Erwin, get out of the fucking cart,” Levi snaps, glaring daggers at him while carrying a bag of cat food close to his chest.

“How about you make me?” Erwin taunts. He quirks a brow upwards as he regards Levi with an impish grin. He’s sitting in the grocery cart, hands gripping at the sides to keep himself in place while his legs fold and go over the metal railings in front.

Levi clicks his tongue. “Erwin, stop wasting time. We’re doing the groceries at eleven fucking PM because someone--” Levi walks closer towards the shopping cart to point at him, drilling a finger against the top of Erwin’s head. “--fucking forgot to do it in the afternoon,” he says through gritted teeth.

Erwin rolls his eyes at that. “Come on, Levi. Cut me some slack. I said I was sorry.” 

Levi briefly pinches the bridge of his nose with a frustrated sigh.

“You know, I could just easily kick down this cart.” 

“But you won’t.”

Levi threateningly motions to kick down the cart with one leg.

Erwin sneers. He grabs at the collar of Levi’s shirt to inch their faces closer. “I’ll get out--” He scoffs. “--but only if you give me a kiss first.”

Levi rolls his eyes in annoyance. “Fuck you,” he swears under his breath before tilting his head to press their lips together. Levi feels Erwin smile into the kiss and tries to hold himself back from doing the same. Erwin places a palm on Levi’s cheek as they slowly pull away, warm breaths caressing each other’s skin.

“Uhmm… Excuse me?” A girl’s voice suddenly pulls them both out of their daze.

Levi almost drops the bag of cat food he’s holding as he abruptly stands back straight, while Erwin slightly jumps in his seat in the shopping cart.

“Sorry to interrupt, but uh…” the girl says, awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact with them as she carries a crate of potatoes in her arms. “...that’s not allowed…” Levi notices the nametag pinned at the top left corner of her apron. _Shit. She’s staff._ “...Oh--! I, uh… I meant _sitting in the shopping cart_ isn’t allowed…” she quickly adds with a nervous laugh.

“Oh. Right,” Erwin chuckles in embarrassment. “Sorry, miss. I, uh… I’ll be getting out now.”

Levi turns to him with an exasperated sigh. “See, I fucking told you,” he says with a harsh poke of his finger on Erwin’s nose.

“Fine, fine. I’m getting out. Just-- can you hold the cart steady for a moment?”

“You fucking idiot.”

\--

“That’s the last of them, right?” Levi asks after placing a box of groceries at the back of the car.

“Yeah.” Erwin shuts the car trunk with a light thud.

Levi nods before walking towards the door of the front passenger seat. He already has his grip on the handle when--

“Levi, wait. Don’t go in yet.” Erwin stands by the door of the backseat.

“What? Why?” Levi’s grip falls from the handle.

Erwin pushes them lightly on the back of the shoulder, urging Levi to stand closer to him. He then offers his hand in front of Levi.

“I don’t get it.”

“Just give me your hand, will you?”

Levi places his hand on top of theirs, and Erwin gently clasps them together. Erwin briefly raises their enfolded hands and orbits them above their heads, twirling Levi in place.

_What the hell is this?_

Levi has to hold back a smile.

Erwin reaches to open the door of the passenger seat with his other hand and chuckles softly as he then gestures for Levi to enter the car. Once Levi does, he looks up at Erwin with an eyebrow raised questioningly.

“That’s it?” Levi asks.

“Yeah,” Erwin laughs. “I just wanted to get the door for you. Except, you know-- fancier.”

Levi sighs, trailing a palm down across his face as he starts to chuckle. “God, you’re such a fucking dork.” 

\--

Levi feels the cold night air rush past his face and blow through his hair, the gust of wind muffling the soft synths playing from the car radio along with the steady whir of the car engine. With his head leaning lazily on the seat, he watches the city turn into a blur-- the glow from quaint houses and shop windows, neon signs and flashing billboards, tall moonlit buildings, flickering lamp posts and dimly lit alleys, gleaming headlamps and bumper lights from vehicles rushing past them on the road. Levi watches the world passing them by.

He turns his head against the cushion of the seat to face his lover instead.

Erwin is fixated on the road as Levi silently watches him.

The wind dances through Erwin's hair and as city lights seep through the windshield and open windows, they leave vibrant speckles of color on pale skin and hair. 

Levi laughs softly to himself.

This is a familiar scene. The late nights and early mornings spent in the company of his lover-- as they drive down streets brimming with light and life. Levi’s been here countless times before and he finds reassurance in the familiarity of it all. These are moments he wouldn’t mind reliving all over again. And this is a place he could and would always go back to.

This-- _here and now_ \-- means everything to him. 

Here and now, there is no such thing as regret.

“Erwin?”

“Yes, Levi?”

“Thanks for taking me home.”

Erwin laughs softly.

Here and now, he is home.

**Author's Note:**

> i finally drew fanart based on this fic (which i rly just drew bc i needed a playlist cover):  
> [eruri fanart](https://twitter.com/pieleth_/status/1347518311718785026?s=20)
> 
> this story was pretty much just me making a fic out of my eruri late night drives playlist. i tried my best to accurately depict the themes/lyrics/mood of that playlist in this fic 😎 i do think it enhances the mood of this story in some way. u can give it a listen here:  
> [eruri late night drives playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2QCJwU4vQpM8sWXx2o2qqw?si=wmObpeCwQ96Gz5sHVmFNxg)


End file.
